The police are looking for ways to connect with the community to spread the word that they're not all bad guys and even have a sense of humor.
Why did the crab go to prison? Crimes.
Still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.
Stop trying to make everyone happy, you're not a Scholastic Book Fair.
Me: I'm just having a blonde moment. My mom: Your whole life has been a blonde moment.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Show me one or two photos of the kids. Not the whole album.
Oh, white people have no culture? Try again, sweaty.
I skip test questions like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.
These Ideas 2020.
I swipe left on anyone with a pic of them playing a sport, because I refuse to entertain the idea of eventually having to go watch their games.
He proudly told me he hadn’t gone to the dentist in 10 years.