This week, Reddit user kaikid asked, “What’s your favorite joke that no one ever laughs at?” And here’s some of the best ones!
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Phillipe Floppe.
Not_Fission_Chips / Via reddit.com
My favorite time on the clock is 6:30. Hands down.
imabadassinmymind / Via reddit.com
Every time they bleep out someone’s last name on TV for anonymity, I say, ‘OMG, I can’t believe his legal name is [insert first name, Insert any swear word]!’ No one else finds it the least bit funny, but I laugh every single time.
memeorcry / Via reddit.com
What’s green and smells like red paint? Green paint.
Algum / Via reddit.com
[look up at the ceiling] That’s a pretty good ceiling. It’s not the best, but it’s up there.
papahet1 / Via reddit.com
If I have left over food at a restaurant and the waiter asks “Do you wanna box for that?” I respond “I’m not much of a boxer but I’ll wrestle you for it.” They never laugh. They just look confused.
Astuary-Queen / Via reddit.com
Two whales are sitting in a bar. The first whale goes [insert obnoxious whale noises]. Second whale goes “Shut up Frank, you’re drunk”.
sSommy / Via reddit.com
How did the diamond find a girlfriend? Carbon dating.
carisbrookecastle / Via reddit.com
Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? Because they’re pretty good at it.
WatchTheBoom / Via reddit.com
I usually don’t believe politicians but everything the Canadian prime minister says is Trudeau.
Sabronis77 / Via reddit.com
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
mayor123asdf / Via reddit.com
Why can’t you run through a campground?
You can only “ran”. Because it’s past tents!
TooMuchNutInDog / Via reddit.com
Why does an Irish chef only add 239 beans to his soup?
[In a thick Irish brogue] Because one more would be too farty!
“Did you know that if a piano falls on you, your head will B-flat?”
Vadelmayer44 / Via reddit.com
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “hey, what’s with the paper towel?”. The pirate says, “argh, I’ve got a bounty on me head!”.
Tullstein / Via reddit.com
What did Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain’s Log.
Gritch / Via reddit.com
When musicians perform on stage, the sound bounces around the room off the walls.
When a pigeon performs on stage, the sound does not bounce. This is because a coo sticks.
slekrons / Via reddit.com
What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.
civilesk / Via reddit.com
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Teswhaaat / Via reddit.com
Anytime I’m with someone where we have drinks served with straws I’ll pass them out so that on the last one I can say ” alright, that’s the last straw!”
Klown1327 / Via reddit.com