Reddit user iamtanz asked married people to share the weirdest thing they discovered about their spouse after moving in together, and it’s both hilarious and weird as hell:


SargeOsis / Via

“I was friends with my husband for 16 years before we got engaged and moved in together. That’s when I found out that he insists on sleeping fully clothed. Not in like a t-shirt and pajama bottoms — in his friggin’ jeans, shirt, and even his shoes!”
Rigelian417 / Via


_UpVotes_ / Via

“He sleeps with pieces of tissue in his ears because he believes his ears leak wax. I’ve never seen this happen.

I found it gross in the beginning, but seven years in, I just pick up those tissue bits from the bedroom floor without bother.”
pretzelstickssalty / Via

“My wife talks in her sleep. And not like, ‘I forgot milk.’ More like, ‘Do you think hot dogs are steak di*ks?’”

“My favorite was when my wife said, in her sleep, ‘You’re not gonna make it.’ I asked, ‘What?’ and she said, ‘You’re not gonna make it to January.’ When I asked her why, she responded, ‘All the exercise.’”
Ciemeny / Via


Rachel348 / Via

“I found out that my wife is afraid of the dark. But not just random, dark, creepy, haunted-looking buildings and such. She’s afraid to the point that if she is alone, she has to sleep with a night light or if the hallway is dark, she needs me to walk with her.”
liveandlearn256 / Via

“My husband’s talking has no off switch. If I’m not listening, he just talks to himself. He has full on conversations with himself in the shower. He pauses YouTube videos to give commentary. He’s pretty much only quiet when he sleeps…and even then, he snores!

But I love him to bits, and the house feels weird when he’s not here chattering away.”
Nyteflame7 / Via


DumpTruckTaco / Via

“He rips paper towels in half and saves the second half. I once collected them all, wrapped them, and gave them to him for Christmas!”
tattertittyhotdish / Via

“She likes to walk around the house with one sock on and one sock off.”
jeff_the_nurse / Via


Suuperdad / Via

“My husband eats deviled eggs with ferocity! He literally forgets to take breaks in-between eggs to breathe and he even starts fu*king sweating. My mother didn’t believe me, so she made some for him for Christmas and got to witness the horror firsthand.

He’s a pretty fit dude who eats everything else normally.”
Pheorach / Via


“Her shoes. Shoes in the living room, shoes in the hall, shoes in the bathroom, shoes in the other bathroom, shoes under the kitchen table, shoes under the coffee table, shoes next to the bed, shoes under the bed, shoes on the bed. Shoes.”
IHateMonkeyssOBad / Via


Zukazuk / Via

“Occasionally, my wife will just sit straight up in bed, dead asleep. The first few times I thought she was going to get up and go to the bathroom, but she just sat there. It wasn’t until I tried to talk to her that I realized she was asleep. It’s horrifying.

Now I’m used to it, so I just rub her back and quietly say, ‘Lay down, it’s time to sleep.’”
dandelion_w_i_n_e / Via

“My husband is terrible at finding things. It can be front and center at eye level in the fridge and he can’t find it! I used to hide his presents by putting them in the open on a chair in our bedroom — I called it my ‘super-secret’ hiding spot.”
Zukazuk / Via

“My wife is incapable of keeping track of small, important items like her keys, wallet, or cellphone. If it can be lost, she will lose it.”
JXG_Art / Via

“My husband falls asleep in the most awkward, uncomfortable positions. He will stay up playing a video game or watching TV on the couch, then fall asleep. But he doesn’t lay down or lean his head back — he contorts himself into a human pretzel to sleep!”
breentee / Via


oldseasickjohnny / Via

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