I recently went through US Customs and the officer asked me the standard “do you have cash more than $10,000 on you?” question.
I responded: “I wish! HURHURHUR”
Her response: “If I had a penny for everyone who cracked that joke in front of me, I’d have the $10,000 by now”
…I totally deserved that.
wowbaggerjules / Via reddit.com

Mail carrier here. “You can keep the bills !” hur hur hur
Groovy_Chainsaw / Via reddit.com

I’m a veterinarian. Some clients do actually say “if you really loved animals, you’ll treat them for free right?”
roisheen / Via reddit.com

Selling lottery tickets. Im like what numbers would you like? Everyone be like “the winning ones”.
leazypeazy2 / Via reddit.com

Cake decorator here- people would come pick up their orders and jokingly tell me I spelled the name on the cake incorrectly. They would watch me get upset with myself and offer to fix it, then tell me they were just kidding.
69schrutebucks / Via reddit.com

I’m obligated to ask those visiting my work place if they have any weapons to declare.
“Just these guns!” flex
TokenFroKid / Via reddit.com

the lady that draws my blood said that she was tired of people calling her a “Vampire”
Wrong_Answer_Willie / Via reddit.com

I work in a call center. I have to ask “was there anything else I could help you with” at the end of the call.
-”Yes bring me a coffee with that”
-”make the sun shine again”
-”got the winning lottery numbers?”
-”yeah. What’s your number you have a sexy voice”
I just ignore them now and wish them a good day
orangepun-king / Via reddit.com

As a church musician, I’ve heard things like:
“How does it feel to have the largest organ in town?”
Back2Bach / Via reddit.com

“So, what’s the matter with you?”
“You tell me, you’re the doctor!”
nunped / Via reddit.com

“Giving out any free samples today?”
Sir, if I did that, it’s a bank robbery.
Bells87 / Via reddit.com

“I just want a BLACK. COFFEE. None of this crap-u-she-no chocolate unicorn frap-aye glitter [crap]. Just a medium black COFFEE. I don’t care what size you call it but whatever’s MEDIUM I want THAT” Like ok u could also try “medium black coffee please”…
lizardlan / Via reddit.com

I work in IT. Any time something breaks on the computer it’s
“Hehe, oh no, guess I have to go home!”
Every. Single. Time.
Sunnyhunnibun / Via reddit.com

I’m in ultrasound. We do a hell of a lot more than just scanning pregnant people, but we get a lot of people who ask, “Is it a boy or a girl? HAHAHA” during abdominal and vascular studies.
purplebeeswax / Via reddit.com

Administrative worker here, not from customers, but from literally anyone that doesn’t work in an office, “so you get paid to do nothing? ‘
jdPetacho / Via reddit.com

I do commissions.
“Can you draw a headshot of my dog in color”
“Yeah sure it’ll be 6$ (I do really cheap commissions because it’s my hobby)”
“Oh you want me to pay!? I thought you liked to draw?”
“I do like to draw but it’s no different than buying a cake from a bakery, the shop owner likes to bake but the materials cost them money and we’d like to get some of that money back”
“Ugh never mind I don’t want to pay to get a drawing of my dog” It’s happened at least 6 times in the two years I’ve been doing this
LittleCalypsoDoodles / Via reddit.com

As a cop, I’d say the most common one I get is: I didn’t do it man!
Bro chill, I’m just trying to buy a red bull and some donuts..
SnigaeF / Via reddit.com

Vet tech here. Whenever I take a patient’s temperature:
“Aren’t you going to at least buy her dinner first?”
brogaant / Via reddit.com

Not a profession, but it kind of relates to this.When people who don’t need glasses ask to try out my glasses and ask how I can see with them.
McUni / Via reddit.com

Pizza delivery. If you happen to pass by anyone else at all on your way to the customer, they will say “You can just leave that right here ha ha ha.”
sxmanderson / Via reddit.com

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