It’s illegal to turn your light on in the car. I was 29 before I learned this was a lie.
heckyessica / Via twitter.com
If you tell me the truth I won’t get angry
ChloeWi40161177 / Via twitter.com
ellelljaytoo / Via twitter.com
When they were 4, 8 & 12, I told my kids swearing was illegal until 1967, punishable, in the case of extreme swearing, by imprisonment. I did it for no other reason than to see if I could get away with it. It remains one of my finest parental achievements
ChrisLangWriter / Via twitter.com
You can never wear black with blue. Because it doesn’t match and is the color of a bruise. (really mom?)
LizKatzOfficial / Via twitter.com
‘Mum, this toast is burnt to bejeezus on one side and just plain bread on the other’
“It’s FRENCH toast. Shut up and eat it!”
I turned down offers of delicious French toast until I was in my mid-30s.
TheMichaelMoran / Via twitter.com
When I was 6 my dad told me Bigfoot was spotted in the woods near our house & I didn’t go outside for 2 days out of pure terror (we lived in suburban New Jersey)
taradublinrocks / Via twitter.com
I was 6. My mum told me it was illegal to feed squirrels. She just didn’t want me to go near squirrels. When I qualified as a lawyer I tried to find the relevant statute. There wasn’t one. I’d been warning people for years that they’d go to prison.
SusanCalman / Via twitter.com
“You can buy that when you grow up and have your own money.”
No, mom and dad, no I can’t.
LarkynSimony / Via twitter.com
#LiesYourParentsToldYou— Anthony Sinnott (@librarianth) June 20, 2019
Parents: "We'll think about it"
Me: "Thank you" *wanders off under the impression that my deepest desires are being carefully and consideratly weighed