#1
It’s so windy outside that drug dealers were having trouble getting their meth into the little baggie, ice blowing in every direction. We can assist you! Call dispatch and we can bring our wind blocking evidence bags. We’ll even weigh it and test for purity for you!
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#2
“I love snow” said no Topeka Police Officer who is working their 4th vehicle slide off cause Carl had to drive to get a slurpie during the second Snowmageddon in five days.
Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#3
If you are going to yell “f%$* the police” at us, at least be smart enough to not be breaking the law when you call for our attention.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#4
People keep asking “if it’s always too cold to criminal, when is it warm enough to criminal?” Today. If you must criminal, go ahead and criminal today. It’s plenty warm for us to catch you. Criminal.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#5
If you can’t drive in good weather, you should definitely not leave your house. We’re looking at you, 60% of drivers currently on the road.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#6
It’s snowing again. You know the drill. We say roads are getting slick, tell you to stay home, most of you do, some of you can’t, some of you like to slide around to pick up Cheetos at the gas station. It is what it is.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#7
If the current road conditions were a country, they’d be on the axis of evil. Good night to stay in and cuddle*
*only with a person or animal willing to cuddle.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#8

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#9
Go home.
Stay there.
Don’t break the law.
Snow. E’rywhere.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#10

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#11
Update: supervisors would prefer we not say it’s ok to criminal. It is always too cold to criminal, so please refrain.
BUT if you do criminal, we will come for you.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#12
We haven’t done a poem in a while…
When the road is glazed like a Munchers Bakery knot,
It’s not a mirage from being too hot
The roads through Lawrence are paved with ice
Jan’s Prius won’t look too nice,
When your suburbitank smashes into it not once but thrice
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#13

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#14
Congrats to whoever from Shawnee County won the $1 million prize in the lottery. All of our Officers showed up to work today, so we can rule them out.
Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#15
Someone is calling people and pretending to be one of our sergeants and demanding bitcoin. First of all, no, second of all, just call him whatever names and profanities you want, then hang up. It’s not from us, pinky promise.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#16
It takes a criminal just seconds to steal your car when you leave it running, unattended, with the keys inside. If you don’t want your car anymore, we recommend selling it. If you do want to keep your car, we recommend not doing this.
Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#17

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#18

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

#19
The current “feels like” temperature is 0, which also happens to be the chances you have to not go to jail if your breaking the law subsequently causes us to leave the vehicle.
LawrenceKS_PD / Via twitter.com

#20

Topeka_Police / Via twitter.com

Via BoredPanda, Preview photo credit: Topeka_Police / twitter.com